Over eleven years ago, when my beautiful baby girl was born, I obsessed just a bit on providing her the best, most pristine nutrition possible. For the first six months of her life, nothing but breast milk passed her lips. And since I was a direct proxy to her diet, I made sure that mine was as close to impeccable as possible. Once I began supplementing breast milk with solid food, I was still rating pretty high on the OCD scale. All her food was organic and homemade. She never once consumed even a spoonful of commercial baby food. As she progressed into toddler-hood, I maintained my steely control over her intake. I was proud nearly to the point of arrogance about her zeal for fresh fruit and hummus with whole wheat pita.
Fast forwarding to the current "tween" years, something seems to have unraveled. Sure, it's true that she was exposed to candy bars and high fructose corn syrup as soon as she hit preschool. Somehow I still managed to keep her mostly interested in high quality nutritious meals. She once even refused a classmate's kind offer to share some strawberries because they weren't organically grown. Seemed like the brainwashing was working. I guess it's only fitting then that when my daughter reached the natural age of staking her claim on contrariness and independence, it would be about food. Given my anal retentive qualities about nutrition, it was a glaringly obvious target. So now I deal with an ever growing list of healthy food that she doesn't like and "won't eat," as well as the line up of dietary crap that she craves like a junky.
And I must confess that I've fallen into something of a trap. In my desperation to find something, anything, that she will actually eat, I've allowed her to narrow her diet into patterns that I know are not optimal. It's frustrating and even embarrassing. But I recently had an epiphany. Somehow I forgot that I am the one who is actually still in control over food choices, at least at home. I still do the shopping. I still do the cooking. I am reminding myself of the many times I have given parents of younger children tips on how to get them to take liquid Chinese herbs, which, by the way, taste gross. Mix it with a little grape juice to help cut the bad taste, hand it to your child and say, "Here's your medicine. It will make you feel better. Drink it all in one gulp." If necessary, you can add in a "because I'm your mother/father and I said so."
The point I am getting at here is this: while you don't have to be draconian, it is still important to remember that you are the adult in the equation and do have some measure of control. So, here's the dietary version of my advice. Healthy food can be made to taste good, so learn how to do that. And offer that for meals and snacks. When you get the stink eye and the request for a hot dog and potato chips as a substitute, remind them that this is what's on the menu today. I would never recommend force feeding children against their will, but there is nothing wrong with letting them go hungry. When they later need a snack, offer them something healthy. Eventually they will eat what's available and they will not die in the process. Now, I'm no fool and I know that kids will have access to all kinds of junk at school and with friends. It is up to you though to keep the offerings at home as healthy as possible. When you cave to "demands" for something else, you are simply reinforcing their picky behavior and you are being trained by them, just the same as buying a toy to stop a 3 year old's public tantrum.
Now, I'm going to try following my own advice!! I'll let you know how it goes. . .
Fast forwarding to the current "tween" years, something seems to have unraveled. Sure, it's true that she was exposed to candy bars and high fructose corn syrup as soon as she hit preschool. Somehow I still managed to keep her mostly interested in high quality nutritious meals. She once even refused a classmate's kind offer to share some strawberries because they weren't organically grown. Seemed like the brainwashing was working. I guess it's only fitting then that when my daughter reached the natural age of staking her claim on contrariness and independence, it would be about food. Given my anal retentive qualities about nutrition, it was a glaringly obvious target. So now I deal with an ever growing list of healthy food that she doesn't like and "won't eat," as well as the line up of dietary crap that she craves like a junky.
And I must confess that I've fallen into something of a trap. In my desperation to find something, anything, that she will actually eat, I've allowed her to narrow her diet into patterns that I know are not optimal. It's frustrating and even embarrassing. But I recently had an epiphany. Somehow I forgot that I am the one who is actually still in control over food choices, at least at home. I still do the shopping. I still do the cooking. I am reminding myself of the many times I have given parents of younger children tips on how to get them to take liquid Chinese herbs, which, by the way, taste gross. Mix it with a little grape juice to help cut the bad taste, hand it to your child and say, "Here's your medicine. It will make you feel better. Drink it all in one gulp." If necessary, you can add in a "because I'm your mother/father and I said so."
The point I am getting at here is this: while you don't have to be draconian, it is still important to remember that you are the adult in the equation and do have some measure of control. So, here's the dietary version of my advice. Healthy food can be made to taste good, so learn how to do that. And offer that for meals and snacks. When you get the stink eye and the request for a hot dog and potato chips as a substitute, remind them that this is what's on the menu today. I would never recommend force feeding children against their will, but there is nothing wrong with letting them go hungry. When they later need a snack, offer them something healthy. Eventually they will eat what's available and they will not die in the process. Now, I'm no fool and I know that kids will have access to all kinds of junk at school and with friends. It is up to you though to keep the offerings at home as healthy as possible. When you cave to "demands" for something else, you are simply reinforcing their picky behavior and you are being trained by them, just the same as buying a toy to stop a 3 year old's public tantrum.
Now, I'm going to try following my own advice!! I'll let you know how it goes. . .